Last New Years Eve I had the strangest experience. I was totally ready to ring in a new year after a crazy, stressful time. I planned to be at Port City Music Hall ringing in the New Year with Rustic Overtones and Head Start and a bunch of great people in one of my favorite Portland places. I forget what I was going to wear but I know I had something perfect picked out. The close of the decade was a big deal, and though I wasn't necessarily of that school, 2010 would mark 10 years of the morning show for me and a couple of other milestone markers. I had finally left my Portland School's position in the Gifted department in 2009 and that was a long time coming. Some of my closest friends had moved and/or changed their lives. I suddenly had a lot of space to fill with new things. I wasn't super happy, but I wasn't really depressed either. I was somewhat impatiently waiting and trying to make sense of some things. That's where my head was at. And it's ironic that I just said "head" because I experienced the worst, most debilitating headache of my entire life for a 26 hour period beginning December 31st at about 6 am.
It may be significant that on December 31st, 2009 we were under the influence of more than alcohol and auld lang syne. The lunar eclipse at 10 degrees of Cancer, her home sign, peaked around 2 in the afternoon, about a third of the way into the headache from hell. (Note: the Sabian Symbol for this degree is A Large Diamond In The First Stages Of The Cutting Process. I certainly felt like someone was trying to cut into my brain, or escape from my skull if I reverse the image.) Full Moons and eclipses do trigger physical symptoms, and I would add that energetically they also impact individuals, animals, the sea and the earth. I woke up on December 31st and headed to the radio station at 6 am with a tidal wave of a headache. It was building like turbulent seas. I couldn't look at the computer screen for more than a few seconds at a time. By 7 am I was laying on the floor of the studio with songs lined up in 3s and 5s and the station on autopilot except for a quick voice break I'd step up for. The worst part professionally was that we were doing specialty programming for the end of the decade and there was no way to completely voice track the show and bail out. I called and texted but no one was awake or answering the phone yet. Finally our promotions guy came in and found me on the floor and called around and found someone to cover for me at about 8:45 am. I felt like I was dying. I know it sounds dramatic, but I could barely walk with the pain.
The rest of the tale is simple. I went to bed for nearly 24 hours. I got up for a few minutes around 2 pm and ate a half a tuna sub. My dog laid on the floor next to my bed all day. At 5 pm I thought probably this couldn't go on much longer and maybe I would go out after all. I held out hope that I'd be in Port City Music Hall hearing Rustic play Hardest Way Possible or something as the ball dropped. I woke up again at 10 and knew there was no way I was going to any party, but maybe I would walk down to the beach at midnight and feel the new year from a place that held lots of memories from that year. Nope. I fell asleep and didn't rise until 8:30 or so on 1-1-10.
My head was clear and the sun didn't hurt my eyes. Only my neck and shoulders hurt from the hours of pain. Not one soul was out in the neighborhood as I walked down to the beach and saw my first glimpse of the new decade.
I wasn't supposed to be out on New Year's Eve. I wasn't supposed to see it or be a part of it. I know there was a reason for that headache which I will never be able to pinpoint exactly. I slept through the end of 2009.
One thing is for certain. This year will be different.
