Hearts

One of my "things" right now is to transform situations just by looking at them or approaching them differently. If I'm uncomfortable or uncertain about someone, I'm making the effort to know them better (in some cases), and I'm trying not to avoid things that create anxiety for me. I'm also set to put a new spin on Valentine's Day, a holiday I recently tweeted disdain for on my twitter feed.

Flashback: When I was in first grade I was admitted to the hospital unexpectedly on the night before Valentine's Day. What I remember more than being scared was being so sad that I'd miss my class Valentine's Day party. I still had some Valentines to write and I seem to remember finishing them with my Mom, in the back seat of the car, on a cold, dark February night.  The hospital stay turned into weeks and my classmates sent me all my Valentines cards and more.  One of the only good things about my days was reading and rereading the cards out of that brown paper bag with the big red heart on it.

For years though I haven't been crazy about Valentine's Day. I'm with the group that says it's so commercial and kind of silly. I mean if you're in love, you're in love every day, and if your relationship sucks it's not going to get better because you give candy, flowers or jewelry.  There are flaws in this reasoning though.  First of all, Valentine's Day only has to be commercial if we allow it to be. If you buy into advertisements, feel guilty or inadequate, and go out and buy expensive things only to end up broke, disappointed or just disillusioned, then that's your own doing.  One year it happened to be Valentine's week when I felt inspired to make this collage for a close friend and I worried about giving it to him near February 14th, feeling that there might be too much attached to it, so I put it off. It was exactly what a Valentine should be though; from the heart, expressive and home made, which is always good if you can manage it.  Valentines don't have to be all of those things, but in my "research" this week, most people who responded agreed that a Valentine token should be simple and meaningful.

I made an attempt on my social networks to get guys, and by that I mean males, to comment on Valentine's Day, however this was mostly a failed endeavor.  Men, it seems, would rather not talk about it. Considering that not a single respondent said they wouldn't welcome a Valentine, and adding to that the handful who said it would be really nice to get a card or something unexpected even if they're not in relationships, I can only conclude that guys like a little recognition yet are reluctant to do anything to indicate they care either way.  I wonder if they check their mailboxes or inboxes with Valentine's Day in mind.  No one seems to be telling, but stories after the fact are welcome if you feel like fessing up once February 15th arrives and the coast is clear!

Myself, I'm in the mindset not to be a Valentine Scrooge next week.  In an attempt to embrace the holiday in some form, I think I'll make a few cards or gifts for friends and send, whether anonymously or not remains to be known.  Chances are anyone would know my signature kind of thing either way.  I even bought a tank top with a big heart today (sustainable organic cotton), and I'll give it a couple of spins between now and the 14th.

I tend to think we're smartest when we're around 8 years old, before adolescence and expectations of all kinds get in the way. Interestingly enough, I got one of the best Valentines ever in third grade. The boy's name was Daniel and he gave me this smokey glass crystal heart on a gold chain. He probably stole it from his older sister or his Mom. I don't think I knew this boy had a crush on me until I got that heart. I never forgot it, and I never forgot his name. Who knows what kind of an impression you might make or how much you might make someone's day this year, on a date that many single people say they hate.  Do something cool, even if it's showing that you love your dog or appreciate the old lady who lives next door. Seriously, let's turn it around and make it a fun or happy Valentine's Day in surprising ways. I bet it will feel good.

"Cupid will not be defeated!"